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Saturday, June 5th, 2004
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4:22 pm
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Well. I'm not going to be using this journal anymore. I like greatestjournal.com better.... so thats where I'm at now! yay!
Later.
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| Monday, May 31st, 2004
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1:42 am
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Hmmm..
I had a heart to heart talk with Nicole today. We were drunk so I think thats why we just spilled our hearts out. I learned some things I didn't know, and I heard some things I didn't really want to hear, and some that I did.
I've been hanging out in Derby for the last five or so days. Its been cool though, cuz a lot of my friends live there. Plus we're always drinking... lol...
The first night we went out there me and Chris got into it. That ruined my night. But Nicole was there and I was glad about it. She's really good to me.
The other two nights we didn't really do much but drink and talk. One night I had a good talk with Frankie. He's cool even though i've only known him for like... a week.
Frankie likes Lydia, but last night he kissed me... he was drunk though so I'm not worried about it. I don't have any feelings for him and I know he feels the same... so ya know... shit happens...
Today was fun in some ways. When we were drinking (Me, Lydia, and Nicole... Frankie didn't drink) We played Pussy Willow and man! Lydia and Nicole fucked up so bad that I never got to drink my smirnoff... yeah we were playing with Smirnoff... lol... Then we decided to pass ice cubs around by mouth to mouth. We're goofy. It was fun though.
Then when Lydia and Frankie disappeared... (hmmm) Me and Nikki had our little chat. We smoked almost all of my cigarettes too.
I didn't get to see Billy, even though he's home now.... ugh...
Chris is such an asshole to me now. I guess the moment I stopped taking shit from him he just got pissed. Oh well. I care about him so much but I'm not going to bow to his feet. I admit it, I want us to be together but then I know it wouldn't work. Not right now. He needs to grow up and I need to as well. He's going out with Beth, saying he wants to date Nikki, and calls Scarlett up right after he says a bunch of shit to me.
I don't need that.
I don't need him.
I just want him, thats all. But like he said tonight, we don't always get what we want... and thats true.
So... I'm going to mature, set my morals, and live my life. And hopefully be happy. Thats all I can wish for right now.
Sierra's been... pissing me off. Its like... She never wants to do anything unless it concerns with Matt, Michael or whatever... and I have to like beg her to get her to do something that doesn't center around herself. And now she's complaining that everyone's ignoring her?? I invited her just about every fucking night to come out with us... but noooo... Matt or Michael might call and that wouldn't be good if she couldn't run to their every beck and call. So, no, I didn't remind her about the crawfish boil at Nikkis. And she better not be pissed that I didn't, because it wasn't even my boil.
I don't know. I don't know why I even bother with people anymore. There's only like... a handful of people that matter to me... and I mean, really matter to me...
-My family... Bree, Daddy, Mom, Brian, and Robert.
-Nicole
-Rachel
-Danuel
I love all my friends though... but I don't trust people easy... and most of the time when I actually start to, they pull something and it all breaks away... and we're back to square one...
So... once again... I wonder why I bother... why I give so much of my time trying to make everyone happy, trying to do whats right and put their wants above my own... and most of the time I do that... but.. its hard to... and sometimes I wish I could just do things for myself, ya know? Live for me and only me.
But what kind of person would that make me?
One that... I'd be ashamed of.
Goodnight.
I'm getting sleepy.
current mood:  crushed
current music: Live - "The Dolpins Crys
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 25th, 2004
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3:10 pm
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School is out. I'm glad about that. It's only been four days and so far my summer has been... nice and exciting I guess... ^_^
Things have changed some. I no longer have a best friend, and I almost lost her as a friend completely. We're talking again through email, so maybe things will work out. I don't think we'll be best friends again anytime soon, but I do believe things will be good again... just not yet.
I'm with a guy named Billy, but he's going to Kentucky for like, most of the summer. I dunno... he's sweet and all but... I don't even know how long he's going to be gone for so... ya know...
Chris, my friend/enemy, or whatever he is to me, started a fight with me Saturday and now we're not speaking. It hurts that he did what he did, but I'm not going to be the one to come back again... not this time. He has no right to be jealous that I'm with someone else. That's not fair to me. I've spent the last seven or eight months of my life stuck on him and I never want that to happen again. I don't understand it... I really don't... its like... he wouldn't be with me, but he wont let me be with someone else without trying to ruin things for me...
I'm not going to worry with him though.
Sierra's infatuated with a guy named Matt. Its not my business to discuss, so I'm not going to. I only wish her luck.
I went to Picayune yesterday and got my pictures. I have a bunch of crazy pictures in there. :) I love having pictures of all my friends. My friend Dustin said I took too many pictures. But I don't think so. I like having a visual memory of something... ::shrugs:: Maybe thats just how I am, I don't know..
Well thats all for now.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Martina McBride - "Concrete Angel"
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| Sunday, February 29th, 2004
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5:25 pm
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| Friday, February 6th, 2004
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11:52 pm
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I talked to Danuel tonight. Jessica... is... moving... maybe... to... Brookhaven... this summer...
Damn it.
Why does everyone have to leave?
And I know how tworn up Danuel is going to be. He really, really, and I mean, really likes Jessica. ::sighs::
Chris showed me this really, strange, yet hilarious thing about badgers... check it out at...
www.badgerbadgerbadger.com
^_^
Tonight he demanded that I give him a hug, but he came to me for it because I'm sick and I didn't have shoes on. ^_^
Scotti didn't want to take a picture, so I kinda followed him around for a little while snapping shots. Lol. I hope some turn out right. When I was saying bye to everyone, I was like, bye Chris, bye Scotti and he was like, My God she acknowledged me. Lol. I always acknowledge people. ::shakes head::
I got the film from the other day. A coulpe pictures are missing. ::sighs:: The ones I really wanted... like the one of Chris and Mitchel. Ugh. Oh well.
Me, Mom, Bree, and John went to eat at Maria's tonight. It was pretty good. I bitched about Rachel and Jay the whole time though. Oh well. It was good to let off some steam, but I did kinda make myself pissed. Lol.
I'm not now though...
But I am kinda tired... so I think I'll go now.... goodnight.
current mood:  hopeful
current music: System of a Down - Ariels
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(comment on this)
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5:02 pm
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I haven't went to school in the past two days. ::sighs::
But I did get my work and it turns out that I have been worrying for nothing... I have a 97 in MS Studies and a 100 in science. Yay! As for Art and Health, I'm not positive but I do know that they're high A's. ::grins::
Rachel lied to me the other night, about four or five times on the phone. I don't know why she did that. I'm a little angry about it, but I'm trying to just cool off and forget about it. We've been best friends for nearly seven years...
But sometimes it seems like our friendship is going nowhere. We don't really fight, but sometimes it just seems fake. As if we're hanging out because its what we've always done, not because we like it. And then there is Jay...
Don't get me started on Jay.
Danuel's been having some problems lately. I'm not entirely sure what's going on with him, but I wish him luck anyways. I haven't spoken to him in like two days so it seems weird. I don't like not seeing or talking to him for that long because its just...wrong. I'd call him but today is his and Jessica's two month anniversary! YAY! I hope everything works out tonight! ^_^
Katie's moving to Ocean Springs... this is constantly on my mind. It doesn't seem fair. Its NOT fair. I don't understand why things like this happen... why friends get tworn apart by things like moving.... or boyfriends...
I'm going to go pick up my film today. I'm not really excited because the pictures probably suck anyway. ::sighs::
I think I'm going to have to go to Satuday School next weekend. Yay for me. Bleh.
Oh well.
I might update some more later tonight, but right now I gotta get off the internet...
Later.
current mood:  okay
current music: Bright Eyes - A Spindle, A Darkness, A Fever, and A Necklace
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| Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
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1:50 am
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Hmmmm... first entry. I'm not entirely sure what to say.. I suppose I could go on and tell about my day, but its so late that I don't think its a good idea. At least not right now. I'm just trying this out for tonight. Who knows, I might forget about it later... or not. I don't know...
I might make this a friends only journal... but once again I'm not sure...
I'd like that though. Maybe I'll post rules or something tomorrow. ::sighs::
I'm kinda depressed right now. For many, many reasons...
Goodnight.
current mood: depressed
current music: Baby Bash - Suga Suga
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